Change of Season

I have been wondering how I was going to communicate in retirement. For some years now I have tried to keep up with two blogs: For A Season and Stone of Witness both at Blogspot. I wish to continue to blog. As an extrovert in a relatively introverted profession and who lives with an introvert, I need some way to express thoughts so that I can come to decisions. It is one of the ways that I formulate and continue to grow and change my opinions, my convictions, come to grips with what is going on in the world, my relationships and ultimately my faith.

For a Season began as a response to The Episcopal Church (TEC) and Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts-Shori’s moratorium on the election and consecration of LGBT persons to the episcopate. It was a mild but important protest against the loading on the back of LGBT persons the real and now outward and readily apparent power plays of some in the Anglican Communion to make the Anglican Communion into something of their own imagination. But that blog morphed into a commentary on the vagaries of serving across denominational lines when I accepted a call to a small ELCA congregation. Those vagaries were both difficult and delightful. They were frustrating and freeing. And on this blog I found some joy and healing that TEC could not provide. I am thankful that For A Season became what it was even though in the past months I have not posted here.

For A Season, as its name suggests was intended to be temporary. The moratorium on LGBT consecrations has been lifted by TEC and I am no longer serving an ELCA church. But I know I have a readership on this blog that I appreciate and do not wish to lose. I need you because you give me a reason to express myself, grow and stay in contact.

Stone of Witness was a blog that I began when I started to work in the ELCA to address issues in TEC and the diocese I was living in at the time. It became a place where I could speak to the changes that were happening in the Church but it was unequivocally an Episcopal site. I knew my other denominational followers did not follow it as closely as they did For A Season.

I have decided to end For A Season and expand the focus of Stone of Witness. A stone of witness is an ancient custom found in Hebrew literature as early as the Jacob stories of Genesis. When one passed by a place of remembrance, a tomb or grave, a battle site, or a place of spiritual significance, people would place a stone to indicate not only that they had been there, but that they had remembered the original event. Cairns marked holy places all over the Middle East much as churches dot our land, or historical markers grab our attention. The simple act of placing a stone not only said that I was there, but that I valued the event or spiritual experience that had happened in that place. The stone tied the placer of the stone to the event, kept alive the event yet said that I would not forget.
Blog writing for me is a form of remembrance for me. It is a way of describing what is important but it is also a place where I return to find sustenance for my faith journey. It is a place where others find themselves addressing the same issues, wonderments, Scripture, events and sharing their thoughts, feelings and taking away something that may have been left. It is a way of communicating in a faceless world, a way in which God is present and visible in our lives and creation.

So I am inviting all my For A Season readers to join me by attending www.stoneofwitness.blogspot.com and perhaps bring a stone of remembrance yourselves. It will not be a singularly Episcopal site. It will be a site at which I will share the thoughts that come and raise their heads at odd moments in the journey of faith and life. I plan to continue to comment on the state of the Church but not only that. And because I am in that life that says is supposed to be retired, I will comment on what that means to someone who probably won’t retire as long as I can think.

Friday Five: Who do you think you are?

Sophia has given the revgals a fascinating Friday Five:

I moved across country for a college teaching job last September, and my mother came to visit for the first time last week. We had a fantastic genealogical adventure tracing the family roots of her father's grandfather, who moved away from this state sometime between 1887 and 1891.

We drove a few hours to their county armed with some names and cemeteries, and wondered if we could locate anyone. It turned out there is an awesome local history room in the public library, with a very skilled librarian library, and with her map and a pile of copied records we struck gold! We found, cleared, deciphered and took pictures of old weathered stones marking members of several family branches in four tiny country cemeteries--the one above is my fourth great grandma. Of particular RevGal interest, we spoke with a friendly and helpful pastor at the United Methodist Church (window above) on the site of the Presbyterian church my fifth great-grandpa helped found in 1814!
1. Do you have any interest in genealogy?

Oh, yes! I love doing genealogy. When we get moved I plan to join genealogy.com and do more work on our family tree. I have already be able to get back 9 generations.

2. Which countries did your ancestors come from?

My mother, as a child, was told to identify herself as “Scots-Irish, Republican and a Campbellite.” She ended up as a Methodist but she was still Scots-Irish and a Republican at the age of 97 when she died. My name is Welsh and my paternal grandfather came from the UK in the late 19th century, so I guess I can claim my heritage as thoroughly Celt. There may be a German great-great grandmother back on my mother’s side somewhere but I am predominantly Celtic

3. Who is the farthest back ancestor whose name you know?

In this country it is 9 generations: Alexander and Elizabeth McKinney who are buried in Vernon, CT, a Revolutionary War vet. In Scotland I found records going back to the 17th generation of a Susan Beatt(ie) in Perthshire.

4. Any favorite saints or sinners in the group?

I am especially fond of the stories of my great-grandmother who came from Scotland at the age of 16 to be the nanny for a wealthy family in Chicago. During the Great Fire in that city she was charged with getting the children safely to the family’s summer home in WI. Later in life when she had lost her husband she ran a boarding house for railroaders in Cedar Rapids, IA where my grandparents met.

The picture above is of my Great-Uncle George, brother of my grandfather. George was 20 years older than my grandfather but it was to George that my grandfather was sent when both of his parents died in the great flu epidemic in Ottawa in 1872. George was an officer in the Raj and spent some significant time in Calcutta. This is a picture of him driving his carriage in Calcutta sometime in the 1890's.

5. What would you want your descendants to remember about you?

I believe I am the first clergy person in the family and I was of the early group of women clergy in my denomination.

Bonus: a song, prayer, or poem that speaks of family--blood or chosen--to you.

Retirement

I am retiring. I will leave my congregation (Lutherans say ‘congregation’; Episcopalians say ‘parish’) on the 13th of June. J and I will be moving to TX to help out a refugee diocese that needs clergy following the wholesale abandonment of their cures by the bishop and the clergy of the diocese. It will be home again for me. I never thought I would be able to return. But I will be glad to be around family and childhood friends. After living in small towns for the past 15 years, it will be nice to live in a city and close to good symphonies, museums, good medical care and quality restaurants.

Most of all it will be good for me be to be back in my own denomination. I do not begrudge my time with the ELCA in any way. My congregation has been wonderful to me and I have found ways of preaching the Gospel that were new to me. I respect their somber approach to faith and the seriousness with which they take the God experience. But I know I am an Episcopalian. I respect TEC’s ways, theology, liturgy and her wonderful sense of governance. I have missed the TEC’s hymns and harmonies most of all.

I guess I could get nostalgic and think of my “career” as something in the past. However, I don’t feel that way since I have never thought of the priesthood as a career. I think I have used that word to describe my vocation, but it isn’t the way I live it. The priesthood is as much a part of me as my breath. I am not especially fond of the idea of the ‘ontological change’ that is supposed to happen with ordination. Some may describe it that way. I don’t. But I do know that I am a different person than the one that used to teach school or who was a professional musician. I am not sure it happened at the moment of hands being laid upon me. I feel that it has come gradually, grace upon grace as I have tried to live in a way pleasing to God. I do know that grace has come upon me has been because I said ‘yes’ to the priesthood and all that entails. I am not sure that grace would not have come upon me if I had not been ordained—grace has to do with God’s gift, not ordination. But the priesthood was and is how I am supposed to live out that grace that comes unwarranted and teaches me the joys and privileges of life.

I will mourn not being in charge of a parish. I have loved being a part of peoples’ lives in that priestly/pastoral way. I visited a couple of people who are in hospital today and I will miss that. I will even miss some of the vestry meeting or council meeting discussions because I have always enjoyed watching how people grapple with God in their lives even when they don’t want to. I will especially miss sharing the Gospel in the weekly bible studies that I have either attended or taught.

There is not much chance of me just sitting in the pew. I have already gotten emails about taking services for other priests. I am not sure I am a good ‘pew sitter’, but I would like some time to just not be in charge for a while. The only thing that I want to have responsibility for is supper and perhaps the dandelions in the back yard. Perhaps I will be able to find a choir that will have my failing alto. It will be nice to have a bishop who will accept me for who and what I am and not expect me to ‘just be nice.’

I AM tired. I didn’t know how tired I was until I went on a cruise/continuing education trip and found that I could fall asleep any time I sat down with a book. I have not written on my blogs much lately because I have been so tired. I need some time just to rest so that my brain can function again.

Know this, I will continue blogging. My two blogs will be revamped and perhaps even renamed. www.foraseason.blogspot.com was originally named for the interim in which LGBT ordination and consecration was placed on hold at the request of the Presiding Bishop. It was her phrase that named that blog. It morphed into a commentary on the Together in Ministry and being a Luth-Episk. www.stoneofwitness.blogspot.com became a commentary on the ministry in the Episcopal Church and often times particular to the Diocese of Central NY. How these blogs will be redesigned I don’t know and will probably evolve. Lives change and so does a body of work. But I will always have something to say about the God and Christ and Church that I love.

Stay tuned….

Spiritual Practices: Ancient and Modern

I have just returned from a clergy conference with a group of women clergy. It is a group of women that I have corresponded with over the past 6 years but I had only met one of them face to face. It was an interesting topic that I felt that I could introduce to my congregation before I retired: Hospitality. But as we continued to go deeper into the subject, I found it was not the basic concept of welcoming new comers, or saying “Howdy”. The topic delved into how we were receptive to God and how we could invite the Holy into our lives and consequently invite others, both beloved ones and enemies into that Holy space where God dwells.

Many of the techniques that the director of the continuing education module taught were practices that I had learned years ago when I entered the convent: Learning to quiet the mind and heart, opening oneself to God, waiting for God’s word to settle upon us, and hearing and seeing in a different dimension. The group of women clergy was from several Protestant denominations but none of them seemed to know much about the ancient catholic meditative practices. Some of them practiced yoga, some, Buddhist meditation. There was there still a reticence among some to embrace a “catholic” discipline. I sometimes wonder if we will ever get past that 500 year old catholic/protestant division that we have used so long to identify ourselves.

The conference was held on cruise ship. There was no “Grand Silence” to break, or separation from the “World.” For that I am grateful. I have never liked the great separation of being “in the world but not of it.” I am definitely IN the world and OF that world and so is the God I worship. There is no isolation from the Creation that God has made even if some of the antics around the pool and on the beach were activities that I would not participate in. They are the people of MY world. They are creations just as holy and sacred as I. And when they stop to allow the HOLY to enter into their lives, they know God’s blessing just as surely as I.

So often I believe I have taught parishioners that the Church is the place where God is. I certainly have found the Holy there, but so many are not finding God there anymore. I wonder often what I did wrong—but then I also think that the World now is not the World I have always known. The world of social media is not one that is especially facile one in which to live. The technology goes so beyond what I know and can appreciate. But at the same time I do not want to be cut off from the young, the movers and shakers, the conversations about the Holy that remind me that what I have done in my life is not for naught.

The hospitality of God, the welcome that God calls me to and sends me out to offer to others demands that I be willing use forms of communication with which I am unfamiliar and will continue to be unfamiliar as I grow older. Old-fashioned sermons may not have the effect that they once had if they are not illustrated and music played in the background. Music may have to change to capture the hearts of those who long to enter the hospitality of God. But what about those who are being left behind? Do we just pat them on the head and pass over them? Do we call them to change as I must change?

The ancient practices of meditative prayer are still the meeting place for God and humanity. The ancient clearing (kenosis) of the heart and mind to make room for a loving Christ is still the place where we all meet. The singing of Matins and Compline still speaks of the Holy. The newness must make room for the ancient just as surely as “new occasions teach new duties.” The holiness of that which spans the universes, that goes beyond the Big Bang, that draws us into awe and leaves us incapable to describe the Presence is what is important whether it be worshipped in Church or art gallery, among thousands or in one’s closet, catholic or protestant, Greek or Jew, male or female or somewhere in between. Ohmmmmmm!

Friday Five: What is there to smile about?

With the end of RevGalBlogPals' third annual Big Event, I am wondering who went and what it was like. There must be a lot of smiling from the Big Event! Hopefully, the rest of us are not frowning either.

So let us know how your past week was for you.

I went!!! I am still tired from the trip but exhillerated too so I need some time to contemplate what all went on. Some new things are going on within me that are very positive but still too amorphous to articulate yet.

1. When were you smiling lately?

I think I smiled almost all week! BE3 was wonderful!

2. What happened unexpectedly to you this past week?

A lot of BE3 was unexpected—the Caribbean was a lot colder than I thought it would be. I didn’t expect to have motion sickness—I was merely a bit queasy but with drugs all things were good. I was not expecting to like all the women on the event but I did.

3. How was a catastrophe averted (or not)?

Thankfully one of the sistahs had those wrist band thingies.

4. What was the most delicious thing you ate?

Awesome strawberry souflee with warm crème anglais!

5. Did you see any good movies or read any books or articles?

Been reading Dan Browne’s The Lost Symbol. I am glad it is the Mason’s who have gotten lambasted for their symbolism instead of the Church. It is a hoot of a read. My grandfather was a great poohbah in his Masonic group so I was familiar with some of the symbols that Browne uses. I’m also reading Karen Armstrong’s newest, A Case for God. Haven’t really gotten into it yet, but I usually love her stuff. Love my Kindle!

Travelin' and Packin': Friday Five

Songbird is going on the same retreat that J and I are going on. She has packing on her mind:

I'm preparing to pack my bags for the Big Event Three, and as I gather what I need I'm thinking about just that: what do I *need* to take with me? As a person who likes to pack light, I worry that in the end I may underpack and wish I had other things with me. I own the gigantor version of the bag to the right, but my morbid fear of having it go astray and not get to the ship means I'm more likely to try to pack it all in a carry-on bag instead, especially since I have a very tight connection on the way to the cruise. But won't I be sorry if I don't bring ______________?

With that in mind, here are five questions about packing to go on a trip.


1) Some fold, some roll and some simply fling into the bag. What's your technique for packing clothes?

Let my roomie do it! She folds so neatly and compactly. I never get it right!
The problem is that we haven’t really started wearing summer clothes so we have to get those things out. We are also in the process of moving and we have already started packing for that. The house is a disaster of packing and the remnants of book culling.

2) The tight regulations about carrying liquids on planes make packing complicated. What might we find in your quart-size bag? Ever lose a liquid that was too big?

I only take medications and the stuff I will need on the plane in my backpack. Since it will be cold here when we leave, I have to take a jacket, but once I get to the airport, I stuff it in my big bag and then on the return I pull it out when I get to baggage claim. I always wear a suit jacket with extra pockets for such things as passport, tickets, etc. I have not carried a purse for 30 years so everything goes in the backpack. Let the xray do the rest!
I have had to give up a water bottle or two in the past few years.

3) What's something you can't imagine leaving at home?

My Kindle, my Birks and my laptop.

4) Do you have a bag with wheels?

Yes. Not as pretty as yours, Songbird, but serviceable

5) What's your favorite reading material for a non-driving trip (plane, train, bus, ship)?

I always carry one book for fun, a novel of some kind and one book that is professional in nature. Usually I have some spiritual reading too. Now that I have the Kindle, I can have it all in one unit. Makes packing so much easier. At the moment I am reading The Lost Sign by Dan Browne and A Case for God by Karen Armstrong. I think I will use the Psalter for spiritual reading.
Ooooooh, I can hardly wait!

Belated Friday Five: Redo, Refresh, Restore

We're in the thick of it in church life as we approach the end of Lent. Palm Sunday and Holy Week await. In the midst of this busy-ness, I undertook a little redecorating here at RevGalBlogPals and found a new template for us.

It's the sort of task I like in the middle of chaos, a chance to redo something, to refresh the way I feel, to restore some sense of order.

Please share with us five ways you redo or refresh or restore your body, your space, your blog, anything in your life that needs perking up this week.

COMMENTS:

Hmmm,
Songbird has put up an unusual Friday Five this week.

I have had several temptations to refer to Holy Week as Hell Week over the span of my career. And it has come to mind that this is going to be my last Easter before I retire. It feels a bit more like commencement or graduation than the same ole-same ole. I have found that the week BEFORE Holy Week is really the tough week rather than Holy Week itself because of the planning, music and preparation that goes on. I really try to plan everything ahead so that I can live into Holy Week as a spiritual discipline rather than just perform rituals for others. But of course ‘things’ always happen. Last year it was my mother’s death.

1. Prayer—meditative prayer. I really try to spend an hour of quiet meditation each day especially in Holy Week. It may be turning off the CD’s on my commute, or sitting in my chair with a cat by my side but it is quiet time I devote to being with God. It grounds me in who I am, whose I am, and what I have before me.

2. Look at the World—I try to spend a bit of time drinking in scenery, admiring some spiritual reading, watching something uplifting on TV or on computer. And this is a matter of choice of NOT looking at or reading things that are negative. This is not a matter of avoidance. Holy Week is such a dramatic encounter with Evil in the world, it is easy for me to bottom out in Good Friday and never get to Easter. It is always important for me to keep Easter in the picture—the hope for the world that our Lord had.

3. Looking at property listings in Ft. Worth-- Since I have lived in church owned housing much of my life, it is fun to look at some of the possibilities for a new home where we are moving. I just go on line and think of the future in this house or that apartment.

4. Clean off my desk—I am not the neatest person in the world. But one discipline I often require of myself during Holy Week is to clean off my desk. It may be something akin to stripping the altar, or perhaps seeking out the leven in preparation for Passover. But it is a physical and a spiritual renewal that usually makes the ‘neatnicks’ in my parish happy. But it does say something about welcoming Eastertide.

5. Getting a haircut.